Category: Entries

4/30

I have everything and nothing to say at the same time. You know how frustrating that is? There’a lot of shit going on in my head but I don’t know how to express it so I just bottle it up till I explode. It truly is an art to learn how to cope and express urself the way that suits u. Imma get there one day.

3/30

“Did you know that a human anus can fit 2 1/2 raccoons?”

my bf

Because apparently a raccoon only needs 4 inches of space to squeeze through, and a human rectum can stretch up to 7 inches (length or width? I don’t know) before taking damage.

Now should u take my word for it? No. Do I have valid sources? No. Is it an interesting thing to think about? Sure. Am I running out of things to post? Well if you haven’t noticed yet…

Do your own research because we didn’t.

Ciao.

2/30

“It is insane doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.”

I was trying kickflips the other day and then I kept on putting my front foot down before the board landed on the ground. I think everyone kept saying to flick out not down, and to jump higher. And I kept on asking myself why I can’t land it when literally everyone tells me what I’m doing wrong and I’m just not comprehending what they’re saying. It’s dumb how I expect to land it even though I keep doing the thing that made me not land it yk.

And it’s another thing actually committing to it and forrealz doing it instead of like just knowing what I have to do in the back of my head and not acting on it.

Like, I know what to do. I just have to actually do it. Like no balls actually do it.

OK anyways, even though that was for my kickys, I was thinking about another aspect of my life too.

I’ve been feeling on and off mentally lately. Feeling like shit and then feel a little bit ok, then my thoughts get ahead of me so I feel like shit again, but the sun comes out so I feel ok. IT’S AN UGLY CYCLE.

Then a few months ago I had a little bit of reflecting and focusing on myself and bro I realized that the difference between when I actually felt good consistently and when I haven’t is that

1. I’ve been hydrating myself (at least 3 full bottles of water)

2. Consistent with my gratitude

3. Catching the sun

4. Exercising / Going for walks

5. Journalling

6. Limiting my screen time

7. Talk to myself nice

8. Meditate

9. Eating healthier foods

10. Set goals and work towards it

So like now that I know what to do, I just have to do it to feel good right? Yea but that’s the thing. I haven’t. Is it laziness? Motivation? Naur. I don’t know.

But I don’t want to feel like shit and it’s not gonna change if I keep my old ways.

When I know the answer and how to combat this, I’ll address it in another blog post.

K bye cya on the next one.

1/30

hi! for the month of april, i’m going to upload a post every single day. i’m trying to work on my consistency and get shit off my head at the same time.

my blog is kinda dry and that’s so not the vibe soooooo we r gonna work on that.

Here’s my monthly playlist for the month of March.

And I’m posting this on the 2nd day of April so you know it’s no April fools bs.

But ya.

k cya later alligator

hi blog.

y’all ever hear something you don’t want to hear. even though it was jokes? and it does not mean anything at all. but you can’t help but overthink and dissect it? because what if it wasn’t. and you feel dumb. because it’s literally just overthinking at its finest?

anyway, just a food for thought.

i hate when my mind goes around in circles and wont shut up. like bro its not real. let me chill in peace. and every self help book i’ve read says to meditate and quiet your mind and listen to your thoughts. and evaluate.

but brooooooo how.

okay anyways. in a few entries i just want to see at least an improvement with the way i think. because that’s literally the whole point of this blog. like i wanna see progress. lol.

k anyways again, good night.

M

Bro, I just learned that some people can’t read analog clocks. Those clocks with two (sometimes three) arms: shorter one usually for hours and the longer one for minutes. There sometimes is a third arm that counts for seconds but it’s not really relevant.

I’m the type to have all my clocks set in the 24-hour mode so like 7:17pm is 19:17 for me. I get the usual, “Why do you have military time?” or something like that. And I usually say it makes it easier to distinguish morning from night time for me. But in reality, I just think it looks cooler. I also enjoy seeing some people struggle subtract 13 from 24 so that’s that.

Anyways, analog clocks are a different story. Growing up I thought it was mandatory for everyone to know how to read analog clocks. It was everywhere so how can you not? Like I remember being taught about it in elementary or something like that. And it’s like, it just makes sense. More sense than the 24 hour time thing.

One day I was out with a friends then somehow we talked about the time and he said, “I can’t read analog clocks.” I was like huuuuhhhhh? I asked questions like did no one teach him, or did he never have a situation where the only way you can know the time is through an analog clock?

He was like, he learned about it but it never stuck. And it’s like he’s had those situations before and he always had to ask for help.

We talked about how it was a good skill to know, but it wasn’t essential anymore. It could be a disability thing. And it’s just crazy for me to think about: 1. how some things I thought I wouldn’t survive not knowing in real life, would actually be not that serious. 2. the skills needed 20 years ago and skills needed now are waaaaaaaay different. Some teachers made it seem like if I can’t read an analog clock, I wouldn’t be able to graduate and/or have a secure future.

I wonder what other things I make seem more important than it really is. I don’t like the unconscious unnecessary stress that I put on myself because of things like those.

But like, I like knowing how to read analog clocks.

Hehe peace;

M

The difference between talking to people irl and online has always been very fascinating to me. I have friends where they don’t ever stop talking when I’m hanging out with them in person. You’d think they will text you back with emojis after every single message simply because of how they talk in person. But you text that same person, literally the driest texter ever. One word replies, no emotions or smiley faces or anything and you’d think that they’re mad, but that’s just how they are. I think texting doesn’t do a message justice simply because the tone of the speaker or the context of a message could be misunderstood easily.

Talking to strangers online would be a similar story. Some people would be bold and confident online and literally won’t shut up when you’re messaging them. They would have the most things to say and have the most smiley faces and all those. But then hang out with that same person irl, they’re so quiet and won’t talk unless you talk to them first. But I guess it wouldn’t be fair to compare the way people act in person and online. Talking online doesn’t really involve confrontation, and sometimes things said through the phone is taken less seriously. When talking in person, you would see through body-language and nonverbal cues which makes it more effective.

At the cafe where I work at, there’s this regular where he would order a specific type of tea. He’d get a small but in a medium cup, 1 cream and 2 sugars, and five ice cubes to cool down the temperature. Behind him in the line there was a girl who ordered an iced coffee and she had the stocks app open on her phone. I was like, “You invest? That’s kinda cool.” She started talking to me about stocks. It was a slow day so she started talking about how investing in banks right now would be a smart move. And we had a conversation about business stuff and money and all those. Then the next customer came in so I had to stop being distracted from actually doing my job and take the order.

Reflecting on that interaction, I think it would not have happened if it was online because I don’t usually ask people about stocks. Let alone random people because who knows if it’s a pyramid scheme or whatever. I mean it still could’ve been a pyramid scheme but it sounded legit so I was actually listening. That’s where tone and nonverbal cues come into play. Something one would not get when talking online.