Category: Blog

4:12 am

hi blog.

y’all ever hear something you don’t want to hear. even though it was jokes? and it does not mean anything at all. but you can’t help but overthink and dissect it? because what if it wasn’t. and you feel dumb. because it’s literally just overthinking at its finest?

anyway, just a food for thought.

i hate when my mind goes around in circles and wont shut up. like bro its not real. let me chill in peace. and every self help book i’ve read says to meditate and quiet your mind and listen to your thoughts. and evaluate.

but brooooooo how.

okay anyways. in a few entries i just want to see at least an improvement with the way i think. because that’s literally the whole point of this blog. like i wanna see progress. lol.

k anyways again, good night.

M

clocks

Bro, I just learned that some people can’t read analog clocks. Those clocks with two (sometimes three) arms: shorter one usually for hours and the longer one for minutes. There sometimes is a third arm that counts for seconds but it’s not really relevant.

I’m the type to have all my clocks set in the 24-hour mode so like 7:17pm is 19:17 for me. I get the usual, “Why do you have military time?” or something like that. And I usually say it makes it easier to distinguish morning from night time for me. But in reality, I just think it looks cooler. I also enjoy seeing some people struggle subtract 13 from 24 so that’s that.

Anyways, analog clocks are a different story. Growing up I thought it was mandatory for everyone to know how to read analog clocks. It was everywhere so how can you not? Like I remember being taught about it in elementary or something like that. And it’s like, it just makes sense. More sense than the 24 hour time thing.

One day I was out with a friends then somehow we talked about the time and he said, “I can’t read analog clocks.” I was like huuuuhhhhh? I asked questions like did no one teach him, or did he never have a situation where the only way you can know the time is through an analog clock?

He was like, he learned about it but it never stuck. And it’s like he’s had those situations before and he always had to ask for help.

We talked about how it was a good skill to know, but it wasn’t essential anymore. It could be a disability thing. And it’s just crazy for me to think about: 1. how some things I thought I wouldn’t survive not knowing in real life, would actually be not that serious. 2. the skills needed 20 years ago and skills needed now are waaaaaaaay different. Some teachers made it seem like if I can’t read an analog clock, I wouldn’t be able to graduate and/or have a secure future.

I wonder what other things I make seem more important than it really is. I don’t like the unconscious unnecessary stress that I put on myself because of things like those.

But like, I like knowing how to read analog clocks.

Hehe peace;

M

music

Music plays a huge role in my life. When I’m happy, I play music. In my feels? Music. Long car ride, music. Skating? Music. Out with my friends? Literally jamming to music.

A few years ago, I used to make different playlists every month putting in music from artists I’ve never heard of, new albums being released, and any song that’s stuck in my head. I criticized it, categorized it based on what vibe it gave off, and literally just played it until I got sick of it.

I think I have a playlist for different types of situations and different people that I hang out with. I think that’s why I used to get told I have good taste in music. I got busy so I don’t really put in as much effort as I did discovering new music but it still comes to me.

I used to only listen to radio music, popular songs on Musical.ly, and reggae songs that my dad plays every Sunday morning.

I think I started branching out to different genres of music when I was in grade 4. There was this guy in my class I used to have a huge crush on. Everyday during lunch, he would connect to the speakers and play songs that I have never heard of. My elementary ass wanted to impress this kid so bad I started listening to r&b, jazz, hip-hop, and soul. I listened to Frank Sinatra on the daily because I heard him say he likes him a lot. I listened to different playlists and put songs that I like in one.

There was time where I was connected to the speaker and Thinking About You by Frank Ocean was playing as he was entering the room. He was like, “Who’s playing aux? Frank Ocean is fire.” I said I was playing music. He was like, “Ou, respect.” It was the only song I knew from him at the time. By the time I got home, I listened to Frank Ocean’s whole discography and researched so much about him I think I was going crazy. I ended up genuinely liking Frank Ocean, not just because this kid liked him.

I was thinking about what else was I missing out on. Imagine if I never branched out to different genres. I would be stuck listening to pop and radio music. Not that there’s nothing wrong with it. But I liked how I discovered different music that makes me feel some typa way.

Two things to keep in mind though, good music is subjective. What I think is good music might not be good for you and that’s okay. Popular songs aren’t necessarily good and good music might not be as big as you think it deserves. But then if you like it, that’s all that matters.

 

Anyway, here’s what is in my rotation:

Paradise – Jeremih

Stereo Driver – Q

Fire Fly – Childish Gambino

No Interviews – Lil Durk

Shut up My Moms Calling – Hotel Ugly

20/20 – Lil Tjay

talking to strangers

The difference between talking to people irl and online has always been very fascinating to me. I have friends where they don’t ever stop talking when I’m hanging out with them in person. You’d think they will text you back with emojis after every single message simply because of how they talk in person. But you text that same person, literally the driest texter ever. One word replies, no emotions or smiley faces or anything and you’d think that they’re mad, but that’s just how they are. I think texting doesn’t do a message justice simply because the tone of the speaker or the context of a message could be misunderstood easily.

Talking to strangers online would be a similar story. Some people would be bold and confident online and literally won’t shut up when you’re messaging them. They would have the most things to say and have the most smiley faces and all those. But then hang out with that same person irl, they’re so quiet and won’t talk unless you talk to them first. But I guess it wouldn’t be fair to compare the way people act in person and online. Talking online doesn’t really involve confrontation, and sometimes things said through the phone is taken less seriously. When talking in person, you would see through body-language and nonverbal cues which makes it more effective.

At the cafe where I work at, there’s this regular where he would order a specific type of tea. He’d get a small but in a medium cup, 1 cream and 2 sugars, and five ice cubes to cool down the temperature. Behind him in the line there was a girl who ordered an iced coffee and she had the stocks app open on her phone. I was like, “You invest? That’s kinda cool.” She started talking to me about stocks. It was a slow day so she started talking about how investing in banks right now would be a smart move. And we had a conversation about business stuff and money and all those. Then the next customer came in so I had to stop being distracted from actually doing my job and take the order.

Reflecting on that interaction, I think it would not have happened if it was online because I don’t usually ask people about stocks. Let alone random people because who knows if it’s a pyramid scheme or whatever. I mean it still could’ve been a pyramid scheme but it sounded legit so I was actually listening. That’s where tone and nonverbal cues come into play. Something one would not get when talking online.

18 things i’ve learned in my 18 years of living

This is a journal entry I had (and I still constantly add on to it every year) to remind me of rules or phrases I learned and live by to make my life a little bit easier.

For younger over-thinker and perfectionist Mikaela;


    1. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Worst response you would get is a no, but then an uncertain yes overpowers it… who knows what doors would open just by asking a simple question.
    2. It’s really not that deep, you’re gonna be fine. Someone made fun of your shoes? Make fun of theirs. Missed your bus? Take the next one. Running late? Ok leave earlier the next time & learn from ur mistake.
    3. Your parents don’t always know what’s best for you. They know what’s best for them based on their experience and they project it on you. But you know, listen to them a little.
    4. Confidence is key. Like what Maddy said, “90% of life is confidence and the thing about it is that no one knows if it’s real or not.
    5. Quality > quantity always.
    6. Be grateful. Appreciate the little things bc it boosts ur mood fr.
    7. Follow the vibe. Don’t force things and let it work itself out.
    8. Be in the present moment. The past and the future doesn’t exist if you really think about it.
    9. Stop watching the news. Literally pool of negative energy and makes you anxious about every little thing. Be careful still.
    10. Work on yourself if you feel like shit obviously. If you look good, you feel good. Then you attract better. Spend some time to focus on yourself til you feel like you again.
    11. Don’t do sprints before strength training. You’re gonna be exhausted your whole workout. Unless you’re doing cardio then it’s a different story.
    12. Don’t workout after a full meal. I feel like this is common sense but I had to learn it the hard way. You’re going to feel gross.
    13. Pretend you know what you’re doing until you know how to do it for real. Use the imposter syndrome to your advantage.
    14. Fill your own cup first. You can’t pour from an empty one and you might burden other people with yourself. Take some time to be alone and reflect.
    15. You can do whatever you put your mind into. You just can.
    16. You’re your own biggest supporter. My driving instructor told me this. Looking back, I’ve done things I didn’t know I could accomplish and
    17. You can’t solve a problem by being in the same mindset that got you in it. I think Albert Einstein had a similar quote but I have to learn that the hard way, and I’m still learning…
    18. Take note of the lessons you’ve learned and avoid falling back to old patterns that you’ve tried to grow from.

You’re constantly learning. Learning about yourself, your relationship with other people, and how the world works. It’s a lot to figure out but you don’t take it all at once. Learn from experiences, and lessons from other people.