Month: April 2023

6/30

this account on Instagram that i recently followed archived all her posts that had insights about life, meditation, religion, beliefs and shit. now idk where to look for when I’m feeling down and need to remind myself of a better mindset about life.

apparently there’s a rebrand going on. bitchhhhh i followed u for that rzn :/

anyways, guess I’ll be the one giving insights to myself from now on from the books that I’ve read, videos I’ve watched, or anyfuckinthing that comes to mind.

kbyez

5/30

i quit using tiktok a few months ago because it got too addicting. i deactivated my account and deleted the app off my phone. fomo felt real the first month because bro what trends or new stuff am i missing. new music?? new cute clothes?? makeup??

now that i look back at it, it actually benefit me.

it

1. made me save money by not buying cute unnecessary stuff (charlotte tilbury contour)

2. take control of my time an not use it til 5 in the morning even when i only said imma use it for an hour til i go to sleep

3. finish my tasks instead of scrolling mindlessly on the fuckin app

4. stop comparing myself on other people and remind myself it is a highlight reel not their whole life

5. stop my ocd triggers or when it put shit ideas in my head that aren’t mine which makes me oveerthink everything even though it doesn’t involve me AT ALL

6. and actually listen to a whole song instead of its best part (steve lacy)

and i know, half of these i could probably stop if i have self control, but i don’t. that’s why i said it was addicting. addicted people do their habits mindlessly. i literally told my therapist “i could stop using it if i don’t want to use it, i just want to” when she told me to stop using the app for a day every week. and when i did stop and felt good but when back to it bc i got bored, i told her “i started using the app again,” she said, “that’s what addicts say.” now I’m like, fuck. r u forrealzies.

anyways life felt better after that.

and i still have Instagram and snapchat. and obvi i use reels to cope. but guess who’s starting to watch IG reels to seek dopamine??

but like ok i feel like this time i have better control of my use for it. but i don’t want to spiral again.

and ik when I’m on my phone too much i start feeling like shit when it occupies my time more than doing other productive stuff.

so i wanna quit social media for bit.

but like the fomo and shit.

and i whenever i quit social media and then come back, i feel good for a few days but then go back to the old habits. maybe instead of quitting, manage my time on it wisely?? ughh if i figure it out imma tell ya’ll.

k cya

4/30

I have everything and nothing to say at the same time. You know how frustrating that is? There’a lot of shit going on in my head but I don’t know how to express it so I just bottle it up till I explode. It truly is an art to learn how to cope and express urself the way that suits u. Imma get there one day.

3/30

“Did you know that a human anus can fit 2 1/2 raccoons?”

my bf

Because apparently a raccoon only needs 4 inches of space to squeeze through, and a human rectum can stretch up to 7 inches (length or width? I don’t know) before taking damage.

Now should u take my word for it? No. Do I have valid sources? No. Is it an interesting thing to think about? Sure. Am I running out of things to post? Well if you haven’t noticed yet…

Do your own research because we didn’t.

Ciao.

2/30

“It is insane doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.”

I was trying kickflips the other day and then I kept on putting my front foot down before the board landed on the ground. I think everyone kept saying to flick out not down, and to jump higher. And I kept on asking myself why I can’t land it when literally everyone tells me what I’m doing wrong and I’m just not comprehending what they’re saying. It’s dumb how I expect to land it even though I keep doing the thing that made me not land it yk.

And it’s another thing actually committing to it and forrealz doing it instead of like just knowing what I have to do in the back of my head and not acting on it.

Like, I know what to do. I just have to actually do it. Like no balls actually do it.

OK anyways, even though that was for my kickys, I was thinking about another aspect of my life too.

I’ve been feeling on and off mentally lately. Feeling like shit and then feel a little bit ok, then my thoughts get ahead of me so I feel like shit again, but the sun comes out so I feel ok. IT’S AN UGLY CYCLE.

Then a few months ago I had a little bit of reflecting and focusing on myself and bro I realized that the difference between when I actually felt good consistently and when I haven’t is that

1. I’ve been hydrating myself (at least 3 full bottles of water)

2. Consistent with my gratitude

3. Catching the sun

4. Exercising / Going for walks

5. Journalling

6. Limiting my screen time

7. Talk to myself nice

8. Meditate

9. Eating healthier foods

10. Set goals and work towards it

So like now that I know what to do, I just have to do it to feel good right? Yea but that’s the thing. I haven’t. Is it laziness? Motivation? Naur. I don’t know.

But I don’t want to feel like shit and it’s not gonna change if I keep my old ways.

When I know the answer and how to combat this, I’ll address it in another blog post.

K bye cya on the next one.

1/30

hi! for the month of april, i’m going to upload a post every single day. i’m trying to work on my consistency and get shit off my head at the same time.

my blog is kinda dry and that’s so not the vibe soooooo we r gonna work on that.

Here’s my monthly playlist for the month of March.

And I’m posting this on the 2nd day of April so you know it’s no April fools bs.

But ya.

k cya later alligator